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Thursday, April 3, 2014
When Life Seems Too Much and Every One Around You is Sick
Please allow me to encourage you the best way I can. First, find time to take care of yourself when ever you can even if it is for just a moment here and there. Second, all this is probably the worst that you will have to deal with at the same time. Though it does not seem like it, it is all temporary. It will get manageable for you, your spouse and sick child.
When my daughter first started showing signs of three rare conditions, I had just changed jobs to a great place. During this time, my father-in-law passed away, within two weeks of that my husband struggled for a week to stay alive. Within those next three years, we had over eleven close family members die including my mother in law. My husband went through two additional near death experiences with severe health problems in between each one. My daughter's health continued to decline through it all with doctors telling us we did not know what we were talking about and that we just need psych help.
We are now on the other side. Neither my daughter nor my husband is cured. But, we have found doctors that could help them both and have made life much easier on us all. Times do get tough, but they do get better too.
The best things we have chosen to do include:
1) take our daughter out of public school and homeschool her. My husband and I both work fulltime so don't think that should stop you. We have really good software that does all the teaching and grading. My daughter can take her time with her studies and takes many breaks, but she is not behind and there is no longer any pressure.
2) Also, when you can, take a break from all the medical doctors. Find a point when everyone's health is stable, just take as much time off as possible until you are able regain your strength both physically and emotionally.
3) Change your expectations from what you always dreamed of life being like, to how you can best live your lives now. Are the health issues a road block that you can work your way around, or are they a dead end pointing you in another direction?
4) Go get a massage, even if it is only a thirty minute hand massage. You wouldn't believe how wonderful you can feel in those 30 minutes.
5) Help your child plug into groups online with others her age dealing with the same thing. It always helps to talk it out and be able to help others.
6) Find alternative entertainment. My daughter plays baseball, but it is with the Miracle League. With this league you come and go as you need. If you can only play ten minutes, great, everyone supports you.
7) Lastly, don't be afraid to cry. It is okay. Much of your stress will pour out with the tears allowing you to buck up and take on the world once again.
It all makes a difference. It all helps to diffuse everyone's worries and stress.
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